Wednesday, April 20, 2011

Postpartum Hemorrhage

never heard of this term before right? neither have i until 2 weeks back.

gory post ahead. dont read if you are about to deliver or planning for pregnancy, or just cannot tahan the thought of lots of blood...

delivery experience is a great thanksgiving. normal delivery, 4 hours with laughing gas in the last 2 hours. so cost was the lowest, just like what we prayed for. hallelujah!!! ^_^

supposed to go back to gynae on apr 6 to check on my stitches. on apr 5, i passed out a blood clot thats about 10 cm, together with blood streaming down my legs. so i told my gynae when i met her and she did an ultrasound scan on me and found a 11cm clot in my uterus still.

why? we asked. she didnt know. but she inserted medication into my uterus to make it contract so that the clot can be passed out. on the day itself, i bled like siao. felt so horrible cos i was just staining everything i sat on. but i just had to go through it. thinking about it now, i cant remember how many days the blood was streaming down my legs. i just lived day by day and was down in the dumps.

Mark 5: 25 - 34
Now a certain woman had a flow of blood for twelve years, and had suffered many things from many physicians. She had spent all that she had and was no better, but rather grew worse. When she heard about Jesus, she came behind Him in the crowd and touched His garment. For she said, "If only I may touch His clothes, I shall be made well." Immediately the fountain of her blood was dried up, and she felt in her body that she was healed of the affliction. And Jesus, immediately knowing in Himself that power had gone out of Him, turned around in the crowd and said, "Who touched My clothes?" But His disciples said to Him, "You see the multitude thronging You, and You say 'Who touched Me?'" And He looked around to see her who had done this thing. But the woman, fearing and trembling, knowing what had happened to her, came and fell down before Him and told Him the whole truth. And He said to her, "Daughter, your faith has made you well. Go in peace, and be healed of your affliction."

I started meditating on the above passage since then. I want to have that kind of faith. To know that God heals and to receive His healing.

Apr 10: Vin decided not to go to church that sunday cos of my condition. I thought he could go cos he already went last sunday and my mum and I could manage. But since he thought he preferred to watch over me, I agreed. Thank God he stayed home that Sunday. At 10+am, blood flowed down my legs while I was carrying John, trying to coax him to stop crying. So I asked Vin to carry John while I took a bath.

In the middle of my bath, I felt very light-headed and knew that this was different from the past few days and that I was going to faint. I called for Vin to come and help me. Thank God my mum just arrived at that time and was able to take over John. I kept singing in my head 'Your grace is sufficient for me, Your strength is made perfect, when I am weak...'

The next thing I knew, I heard Vin shouting 'Dear, are you ok?' over and over again and my mum duno screaming what in the background. Yes I did faint but it felt like I was in dreamland, with the song in my head. We decided to go to the gynae the next day. My gynae was on leave so we went to the covering doctor.

Apr 11: 7cm clot still inside. The gynae again put medicine in me and again blood poured for the next few days. I was so weak and faint every day that I just lay in bed almost all the time, except to go to the toilet and to sit up to feed John.

Bleeding for 12 years is NO JOKE! I bleed for 12 days already so cham liao... She must have such great faith to leave her house to squeeze in the crowd just to touch Jesus' garment! Can risk fainting anytime leh!

Apr 16: My gynae wanted me to go for surgery to remove the clots asap. I was so scared that I cried. Who wants to go for operation right? And who wants to have their uterus scraped clean? But she was worried that I might even lose my life if I continue bleeding like this. Finally after some discussion, she decided to send me for a blood test and if my count is not too low, she will agree to let me continue the medication route with close monitoring. Thank God it just passed.

Apr 18: I dragged my feet to see her this time cos I felt my situation did not improve. The night before I couldn't sleep well (as if i can sleep well having to wake up every 2-3 hours to feed John anyway haha) cos I kept replaying the scene where she told me to admit myself immediately.

When I went into her room and she looked at my pale face, she asked me 'Did you fast?' My heart sank and I said no cos I was still fighting against surgery. When she was scanning me, she said she was very happy cos my body is responding to the medication and we can continue this route!!! She also thinks that we can win this without surgery!!! Praise God!!!!! but just to be sure, I had to do a blood test as well. sure! anything man!

so tomorrow I will go back for review again and I WANT THIS SAGA TO BE OVER! no more blood clots! uterus contract to how it should be! yes yes yes!

Tuesday, March 22, 2011

Spruce @ Tanglin Road

vin brought me for a nice meal before our family expands to be a 3 member unit =)

enjoy the pictures taken by vin on our new canon EOS 550D ^_^ seems like everything we buy now is for baby goh HAHAHAHA...

spruce signature burger. super yummy!!!!!

the spruce big brekkie - we were there at 130pm but it was brunch that they were serving. duno why leh...?!

purple velvet - almond and beetroot cake. ITS TOTALLY FANTASTIC!!!!!! moist and flavorful...

Friday, March 18, 2011

My Beloved - Kari Jobe

You're My Beloved
You're My Bride
To sing over you is My delight
Come away with Me My love

You're Beautiful to Me
So beautiful to Me

Under My mercy
Come and wait
Till we are standing face to face
I see no stain on you
My child

You're Beautiful to Me
So Beautiful to Me

I sing over you
My song of peace
Cast all your care down at My feet
Come and find your rest in Me

I'll breathe My life inside of you
I'll bear you up on eagle's wings
And hide you in the shadow of My strength

I'll take you to My quiet waters
I'll restore your soul
Come rest in Me and be made whole
You're My beloved
You're My Bride
To sing over you is my delight
Come away with me my love

Thursday, March 03, 2011

What Is Present When Kneeling to Pray in Jesus’ Name

From John Piper's Desiring God website...

Here’s what is present when we kneel to pray in Jesus’ name:

1. God the Father on his throne sovereign over the universe, with a welcoming, countenance focused on us.

2. God the Son in his high priestly role, standing as advocate before the throne as a Lamb that was slain with perfect righteousness and with all God’s promises purchased fully in his hand interceding for us.

3. God the Spirit within us, having already inclined us to pray, poised to guide our prayers, put to death our sins, awaken our faith, illumine God’s word, and produce his fruit.

4. The word of God open before us, inspired by God, alive with penetrating power for conviction of sin and indomitable hope, revealing the Father, the Son, and the Spirit to our souls, shaping and guiding our prayers after God’s will.

5. Our sin forgiven, but humbling us to need and love our merciful saving God.

6. God’s grace like a great rainbow of hope arcing from the throne to our soul.

7. Our will captured by these realities, moving words (or only groans) up out of our mind (or only heart) to God with praise and thanks and confession and requests.

Monday, February 21, 2011

5 loaves and 2 fishes - Corrinne May

Friday, December 31, 2010


today started out great. my bus came and i was 30metres away so had to run for the bus. there was a nice guy who stood at the bay and waited for me before he boarded, so that the driver wont drive off. the driver was nice too. he waited for me to sit down before moving off.

also excited cos we are collecting our car today! yes we bought a car! dont worry, vin and jean dont make crazy financial deals... its a 2nd hand OPC, not a 40K COE new car.

the car saga is also abit strange and unsettling but lets leave that to another time. this issue im facing now is irritating enough.

when i was 2 months pregnant, the indonesian general manager requested for me to travel to indonesia to train his team. even though my boss knew that i was in my first trimester, she responded 'i dont see why not! sure!' and that was in front of the SEA&I vice president... oh sure... who would travel in their first trimester?

so i had to say that i cant travel cos im pregnant and its not safe to travel then. all of them looked at me with a look like 'huh? why you got legs cannot walk?' that kind of expression... then the VP muttered something about ..... pregnant..... like he didnt believe that pregnant women have a higher risk if they fly...

nmind i put that aside. but within the next month, the indonesian GM requested another 2 times for me to fly to indonesia!!!!! cant he get it into his head that i cant fly? one of the times, he sent an email and copied all those who were in that management meeting where i said i cant fly! he even copied more people..... so i had to again reply that i cant fly. by then i already had a letter from my gynae stating that i cant fly until my 4th month.

now im in my 3rd trimester and i receive an email from 'no prizes if you guess correctly'. and asking me to 'again no prizes if you guess correctly'


2 months back, i already told his boss (Vietnam, Indonesia & Philippines Area General Manager) that i have a low lying placenta so cant fly already during my pregnancy. cos cannot carry heavy stuff and must limit movements. if it gets worse, can have bleeding and must bed rest and cannot deliver naturally one leh... its not like some silly thing! who would risk their child for their work?! he understood and was chatting with me about pregnancy still. and now the irritating person strikes again?!

i dont understand why people here are so unprofessional. first it was my boss who didnt allow me to see the doctor after office hours when i already couldnt walk and was breaking out in cold sweat. now i have a country GM who keeps requesting for me to fly to his country. i've been coaching his team on the phone and via emails almost every day! even doing the financial controller's work for her most of the time cos she always act blur like she duno how to do... and if she messes up, im the one who gets the scolding... so end up i always have to teach her, she act blur, then i do for her... why must i fly there just to do the same thing? if they cant get their act together, then its the quality of his staff ma!!!!! month in month out, train them on the same thing and they keep messing things up... so does it make a difference if im physically there?

sigh..... cannot let these things affect me. must be happy mummy... but sometimes just get bogged down by these things...

fingers crossed that our car collection will be smooth later! cant wait to get out of here!

suddenly realised, what a sad way to post on the last day of 2010. try to sound happier...

HAPPY 2011!!!!! ^_^ (funny how you can type something and it looks happy, but the person typing it has a sad face)

Saturday, December 04, 2010

You have shown us (Micah 6:8)