Postpartum Hemorrhage

never heard of this term before right? neither have i until 2 weeks back.

gory post ahead. dont read if you are about to deliver or planning for pregnancy, or just cannot tahan the thought of lots of blood...

delivery experience is a great thanksgiving. normal delivery, 4 hours with laughing gas in the last 2 hours. so cost was the lowest, just like what we prayed for. hallelujah!!! ^_^

supposed to go back to gynae on apr 6 to check on my stitches. on apr 5, i passed out a blood clot thats about 10 cm, together with blood streaming down my legs. so i told my gynae when i met her and she did an ultrasound scan on me and found a 11cm clot in my uterus still.

why? we asked. she didnt know. but she inserted medication into my uterus to make it contract so that the clot can be passed out. on the day itself, i bled like siao. felt so horrible cos i was just staining everything i sat on. but i just had to go through it. thinking about it now, i cant remember how many days the blood was streaming down my legs. i just lived day by day and was down in the dumps.

Mark 5: 25 - 34
Now a certain woman had a flow of blood for twelve years, and had suffered many things from many physicians. She had spent all that she had and was no better, but rather grew worse. When she heard about Jesus, she came behind Him in the crowd and touched His garment. For she said, "If only I may touch His clothes, I shall be made well." Immediately the fountain of her blood was dried up, and she felt in her body that she was healed of the affliction. And Jesus, immediately knowing in Himself that power had gone out of Him, turned around in the crowd and said, "Who touched My clothes?" But His disciples said to Him, "You see the multitude thronging You, and You say 'Who touched Me?'" And He looked around to see her who had done this thing. But the woman, fearing and trembling, knowing what had happened to her, came and fell down before Him and told Him the whole truth. And He said to her, "Daughter, your faith has made you well. Go in peace, and be healed of your affliction."

I started meditating on the above passage since then. I want to have that kind of faith. To know that God heals and to receive His healing.

Apr 10: Vin decided not to go to church that sunday cos of my condition. I thought he could go cos he already went last sunday and my mum and I could manage. But since he thought he preferred to watch over me, I agreed. Thank God he stayed home that Sunday. At 10+am, blood flowed down my legs while I was carrying John, trying to coax him to stop crying. So I asked Vin to carry John while I took a bath.

In the middle of my bath, I felt very light-headed and knew that this was different from the past few days and that I was going to faint. I called for Vin to come and help me. Thank God my mum just arrived at that time and was able to take over John. I kept singing in my head 'Your grace is sufficient for me, Your strength is made perfect, when I am weak...'

The next thing I knew, I heard Vin shouting 'Dear, are you ok?' over and over again and my mum duno screaming what in the background. Yes I did faint but it felt like I was in dreamland, with the song in my head. We decided to go to the gynae the next day. My gynae was on leave so we went to the covering doctor.

Apr 11: 7cm clot still inside. The gynae again put medicine in me and again blood poured for the next few days. I was so weak and faint every day that I just lay in bed almost all the time, except to go to the toilet and to sit up to feed John.

Bleeding for 12 years is NO JOKE! I bleed for 12 days already so cham liao... She must have such great faith to leave her house to squeeze in the crowd just to touch Jesus' garment! Can risk fainting anytime leh!

Apr 16: My gynae wanted me to go for surgery to remove the clots asap. I was so scared that I cried. Who wants to go for operation right? And who wants to have their uterus scraped clean? But she was worried that I might even lose my life if I continue bleeding like this. Finally after some discussion, she decided to send me for a blood test and if my count is not too low, she will agree to let me continue the medication route with close monitoring. Thank God it just passed.

Apr 18: I dragged my feet to see her this time cos I felt my situation did not improve. The night before I couldn't sleep well (as if i can sleep well having to wake up every 2-3 hours to feed John anyway haha) cos I kept replaying the scene where she told me to admit myself immediately.

When I went into her room and she looked at my pale face, she asked me 'Did you fast?' My heart sank and I said no cos I was still fighting against surgery. When she was scanning me, she said she was very happy cos my body is responding to the medication and we can continue this route!!! She also thinks that we can win this without surgery!!! Praise God!!!!! but just to be sure, I had to do a blood test as well. sure! anything man!

so tomorrow I will go back for review again and I WANT THIS SAGA TO BE OVER! no more blood clots! uterus contract to how it should be! yes yes yes!