im sad n tired n sian

vin brought up somethin last nite. somethin which i alreadi innately knew but never recognized it outright.

this place has taught me to b lazy...

i dun like to b a lazy person. i dun like to b sian every dae. i dun like to drag myself here. but there used to b a time when i did everythin so fast n so perfect n drilled into so many things n tried to find more things to do, but still haf so much of free time. this is e same reason y most of em left, n y many r still actively lookin out now... cos we r not learnin enuff, cos we r not utilized enuff, cos there is reali nothin much cos of e environment...

toked to a fren yesterdae n she too said dat my scope is too narrow. i shd move n even wif e same kinda role, i'd learn n do sooo much more... somethin which makes me so hapi n which would make me look forward to everydae... now im juz a robot churnin figures, doin reportin after reporting... actually wat we do at this level, frankly has not much biz impact... how to c more of e biz? in other places, said my fren, who was HR here...

im still waitin upon e Lord. e time is comin i noe. help me to b patient Lord, to walk n not faint, to live out e life dat u haf called me to... it is e Lord God we r serving...