sigh

he made me cry... again... this time i cried e whole dae... not dat tears flowed fer 6 hrs... but each time i think abt my situation every 1-2 hours or so, tears juz start flowin down n i cant stop it...

e last time i cried abt my job was when i was in deloitte. once dat happened, i knew i had to leave. todae, vin told me, if i cant take it anymore, juz go. but i noe God didnt let me go there to fail. n to leave b4 my confirmation is failing. i wana make sure i do my best n fulfil God's purpose fer me there.

but its v hard. im hired fer somethin but expectations of me r another. i was taught to do juz do some things but those things r super insufficient. i get scolded fer things dat r out of my control. i get accused of things dat i didnt noe of. i feel so helpless. i dun mind if im scolded fer things dat i did wrong n i can improve on, which i noe of 2 dat i can wk on. but other than dat, e countless other things... i juz cant help it. its totally not up to me to influence/change/make happen...

but God is holdin me n is by my side... when vin told me dat, it juz couldnt sink it. he aso told me dat God will not let me take more than i cant bear. now its sinkin in... yes a gd reminder. God will b my strength, my shield, my solid rock in whom i depend on...

dat said, im goin fer cell then will come home to wk... hope i can finish my stuff b4 4am... i can do it!!! cheers everyone!!! vin's comin home tomolo!!!!! reali need him now...