choices...

it was a tough last week. i struggled sooo much with God. many questions i had were unanswered. the future looked bleak and i trembled with fear each time i thought of my home loan. but each time i worried, i reminded myself that God is in control. He has the best for me.

vin and i discussed at length on how to hear God's voice. he told me that when he was seeking God with regards to his job during his school days, he told God that he will leave it to Him as it was God who is the one to give him the job, not the interviewers. and that struck me. yes it is God who will give me the job! when i put this into perspective, then i was no longer afraid. i am not fearing when i send out my CV and when i go for interviews as if this is what God has planned for me, He will make all things good. He will grant me favor in man's eyes!

Philippians 4: 6
Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.

the verse above also kept reminding me that in all things, talk to God and request from Him. but in doing these, also give thanks! and i thank God that even when 1 door closes, another 2 are open as of now.

thanks to everyone who have been updating me on jobs in the market and following up with me, caring about how i am. truly its in crisis that you can know who are those who are truly concerned about you and i appreciate you all for that =)))

next step for me is to think long and hard which path i want to take. and most importantly hear from God what He has to say.

Psalm 73:1-17
1Surely God is good to Israel,
to those who are pure in heart.

2 But as for me, my feet had almost slipped;
I had nearly lost my foothold.

3 For I envied the arrogant
when I saw the prosperity of the wicked.

4 They have no struggles;
their bodies are healthy and strong. ^[a]

5 They are free from the burdens common to man;
they are not plagued by human ills.

6 Therefore pride is their necklace;
they clothe themselves with violence.

7 From their callous hearts comes iniquity ^[b] ;
the evil conceits of their minds know no limits.

8 They scoff, and speak with malice;
in their arrogance they threaten oppression.

9 Their mouths lay claim to heaven,
and their tongues take possession of the earth.

10 Therefore their people turn to them
and drink up waters in abundance. ^[c]

11 They say, "How can God know?
Does the Most High have knowledge?"

12 This is what the wicked are like—
always carefree, they increase in wealth.

13 Surely in vain have I kept my heart pure;
in vain have I washed my hands in innocence.

14 All day long I have been plagued;
I have been punished every morning.

15 If I had said, "I will speak thus,"
I would have betrayed your children.

16 When I tried to understand all this,
it was oppressive to me

this is the psalm of asaph. he was complaining about life being so unfair cos he believed in the 'law of fair returns' - you reap what you sow. so why are the bad people having it good but the good people have it bad? where is God in all these? it was all too frustrating for him and he felt that he was a good Christian for nothing. during our home cell (vin and me studying the Word every tues), a question was posed by our Bible study material - what can we learn from asaph that we can put to use?

17 till I entered the sanctuary of God;
then I understood their final destiny.

i learnt that most importantly, i need to talk to God and seek after Him. cos when asaph entered the sanctuary of God - he must have been seeking after God, he understood it all! thats what i want... to hear God's voice and know where He is leading me in the midst of all these...

vin is very positive. he tells me that this is good. i accumulated another experience to enable me to minister to those without jobs in future. ok... never thought of that... hee... yeah! greater things are yet to come, greater things are still to be done here!!!!! ^_^