sad sad...

this is my 200th post! haha blog for so many years but only wrote 200 posts =Pp for those who have been reading since day 1, wowww impressed at your staying power HAHAHAHA...

been quite sad these past days... in my current work place, my leave entitlement is the lowest in my career and we cannot carryforward any leave. double whammy right? dont seem to be able to accumulate leave to go for a long break right?

so i tried to accumulate as much as i can with my meagre pro-rated leave so that vin and i could bring my parents and his dad to china for a holiday in nov. but when i brought up the subject to my boss last week, she told me that i cannot take leave cos its closing period and there is no one who can do what im doing. the last time i wanted to take leave for my wedding anniversary, she also told me to take it on another day. but that i did cos i pick my battles.

this time, i felt so sad! why can other people in the regional team have people to back them up and they can take 2 weeks leave, anytime during the month, but for me? my close starts from 20th of every month to 10th of the next month... that leaves me with only 1 week per month to plan my leave...

i asked my boss if she would like to think of a contingency plan in case i have an emergency or something happens. she said if its an emergency, she sure can find people to help. but if i take leave to go for a holiday, those who she rope in will complain that they need to do someone's work while the person goes on a holiday...

the selfish me thought to myself: thats how it is in an organization ma?! someone goes on leave, there is a back up! its an ENTITLEMENT to the employee so whether the person takes leave to go on holiday, stay at home and rot, or has some emergency, nobody should complain cos that person has to clear leave... furthermore, i have so limited time to take leave, definitely there will be a time where it just will clash with my extended close?!

my boss even suggested that if i find it hard to clear leave cos of the limitations, just take leave during the period that i can and stay at home. she doesnt understand why people want to take leave to go for a holiday. she thinks that staying home is better. *sigh* why? i just want to bring my parents to china. just want them to be happy. just using my leave. but why cant i even take leave? why do i have no back up? why must i think for my boss and understand her difficulties and yet give up what i would love to do for my parents? and maybe even having to end up clearing leave by staying at home?

sorry this post is not uplifting. usually i try to blog to encourage. but im really down. i dont need anyone to understand me. i just dont need people forcing me to do what they want me to do. 3 more months and all my leave expires...